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By 25, Ray Charles and Tyler Determan had accomplished ...

Overcame adversity
Ray charles
Overcame padlock adversity
Photo?1426878552
Ray Charles
At age 25 Ray Charles started his own band, recorded with Quincy Jones and had a number one R&B hit. Even though Charles lost his sight at 5, never knew his father, lost his mother, and dropped out of school at 15, he went on to be number 10 on the list of greatest artists of all time and number 2 on Rolling Stone's greatest singers of all time. Even Billy Joel said that Charles was more important than Elvis. While most people with 20/20 barley finish the dishes, Charles also won 17 Grammys.
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By 30, Oprah Gail Winfrey and Kristen Boyer had accomplished ...

Media Goddess
Oprah winfrey
Has a name similar to a University who's mascot is a flying Dutchman
Photo?1425484221
Oprah Gail Winfrey
At 30, Oprah Winfrey took over as host of A.M. Chicago, a poorly-rated, half-hour morning talk show. Within a month, she had taken it from last place to first place in local Chicago ratings. Within 2 years, A.M. Chicago show was relaunched as The Oprah Winfrey Show and nationally syndicated. Despite being born into poverty and raised by a teenage single mother, facing sexual abuse as a teen and running away from home, Oprah has gone on to become the world's first black woman billionaire in history, has received an honorary degree from Harvard and was awarded the Presidential Medal Of Freedom in 2013. What's your excuse?
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By 20, Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Sophie Burgess had accomplished ...

Prolific Poet & Feminist Crusader
Elizabeth barrett browning
being friends with me. lol
Photo?1424978907
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
When she was 20, Elizabeth Barrett Browning published her first volume of poetry which dealt with her passion for Byron and Greek politics. Despite suffering from anorexia, tuberculosis; scoliosis, opium addiction; anxiety and agoraphobia she wrote over 20 volumes of poetry, and was a candidate for poet laureate. She kept company with likes of Wordsworth, Tennyson, and Coleridge. Her final work, Aurora Leigh, which is considered an early feminist manifesto, portrays the male domination of a woman - so when you’re masturbating to Fifty Shades of Grey with that guy you met on Craigslist, remember you just set women back 157 years.
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By 32, Alexander the Great and Andy Walton had accomplished ...

Conquered the known world
Alexander the great
Pharmacist
Photo?1423825702
Alexander the Great
By 32, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly all of the known world, building one of the most earth-engulfing empires in human history. By the time he was your age, he was worshiped from Italy to the Himalayas and had 20 cities named after him. His immediate legacy lasted from his death at 33 to the end of the Byzantine empire in the 15th century - so about 2000 years - but as one of the greatest warriors of all time he is still considered the standard against which all military commanders are judged, and hs tactics are taught in academies around the world at this very moment. Enjoy World of Warcraft.
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By 25, Ray Charles and Daniel Spowage had accomplished ...

Overcame adversity
Ray charles
Overcame piss
Photo?1422440176
Ray Charles
At age 25 Ray Charles started his own band, recorded with Quincy Jones and had a number one R&B hit. Even though Charles lost his sight at 5, never knew his father, lost his mother, and dropped out of school at 15, he went on to be number 10 on the list of greatest artists of all time and number 2 on Rolling Stone's greatest singers of all time. Even Billy Joel said that Charles was more important than Elvis. While most people with 20/20 barley finish the dishes, Charles also won 17 Grammys.
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By 27, Jimi Hendrix and Fergal Hughes had accomplished ...

Greatest Guitarist Ever
Jimi hendrix
Greatest white gangsta impression.
Photo?1420984244
Jimi Hendrix
Despite a limited mainstream exposure of four years, Jimi Hendrix is considered the greatest guitarist in history, not only because he played his right handed Stratocaster upside down and lefty, or because he was the first musician to literally smash and burn his guitar at the end of a performance, but because he set the trend for Rock Gods dying of drug related deaths at 27. He was soon followed by Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison, and much later Kurt Cobain. Have fun trying to recreate Purple Haze on Guitar Hero.
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By 32, Alexander the Great and Erik Ahlquist had accomplished ...

Conquered the known world
Alexander the great
Conquered the Swedish seas (NOT!)
Photo?1420880106
Alexander the Great
By 32, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly all of the known world, building one of the most earth-engulfing empires in human history. By the time he was your age, he was worshiped from Italy to the Himalayas and had 20 cities named after him. His immediate legacy lasted from his death at 33 to the end of the Byzantine empire in the 15th century - so about 2000 years - but as one of the greatest warriors of all time he is still considered the standard against which all military commanders are judged, and hs tactics are taught in academies around the world at this very moment. Enjoy World of Warcraft.
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By 30, Michael Jordan and Chris Kavka had accomplished ...

Best Basketball Player of All Time
Michael jordan
Best ski bum this side of the Mississippi!
Photo?1420799703
Michael Jordan
At 30 Michael Jordan retired from basketball after being a three time MVP and winning three consecutive titles with the Bulls, securing his first "three-peat." He was nicknamed "His Airness" because the man can literally fly through the air and slam dunk at the same time. After his retirement he signed with the White Sox and played baseball. He then came out of retirement and led the Bulls to their sixth NBA championship, and secured a second three-peat. Once again, Jordan was voted the Finals MVP making it his sixth, a record in NBA history. Maybe you wouldn't have sprained your ankle playing b-ball at the YMCA if you had been wearing some Air Jordan's.
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By 26, Wilt Chamberlain and Fergal Hughes had accomplished ...

Only NBA player to score 100 points in one game
Wilt chamberlain
Only man to make his girlfriend consider murder because of his leg movements.
Photo?1420412772
Wilt Chamberlain
At 26 Wilt Chamberlain set the NBA single-game scoring record by tallying 100 points in a 48 minute game. Chamberlain is the only player in NBA history to average at least 30 points and 20 rebounds per game in a season, a feat he accomplished nine times. Chamberlain also authored several books, and battled Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie Conan the Destroyer. Nicknamed Goliath and The Big Dipper, he was a lifelong bachelor, and is believed to have had sex with over 20,000 women. Have you scored (anything) lately?
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By 21, Steve Jobs and Andy Genders had accomplished ...

Co-Founded Apple Computer
Steve jobs young
Has managed to learn all the words to 'Let It Go' & never fails to sing every word when the song plays...
Photo?1420406867
Steve Jobs
At 21 Steve Jobs co-founded Apple computers from his parents’ garage. Within 4 years Jobs was worth a quarter billion dollars – with a ‘b’. After being forced out of Apple, he bought Pixar for 10 million and went on to sell it for $7.4 billion. When Apple begged him back, Jobs turned the almost bankrupt company into the world’s most valuable, with a market cap of $342 billion and a larger cash reserve than the US treasury! But you’re right. It IS bullshit that your parents won’t buy you an iPad Mini for your birthday.
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By 26, Wilt Chamberlain and Leonardo Bollati had accomplished ...

Only NBA player to score 100 points in one game
Wilt chamberlain
Only a loser
Photo?1420210848
Wilt Chamberlain
At 26 Wilt Chamberlain set the NBA single-game scoring record by tallying 100 points in a 48 minute game. Chamberlain is the only player in NBA history to average at least 30 points and 20 rebounds per game in a season, a feat he accomplished nine times. Chamberlain also authored several books, and battled Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie Conan the Destroyer. Nicknamed Goliath and The Big Dipper, he was a lifelong bachelor, and is believed to have had sex with over 20,000 women. Have you scored (anything) lately?
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By 24, Mungo Park and Hans Franz had accomplished ...

Reached interior of West Africa
Mungo park
Lost a Pokemon tournament
Photo?1419792181
Mungo Park
At 24 Mungo Park, a young Scottish doctor, became the first European to reach the interior of West Africa. In 1795, aged 22, Mungo – who had never traveled much outside of Scotland - popped over to Sumatra in Indonesia where he discovered eight new species of fish, just like any regular 22 year old does. It was at 24, however, that he was to really make his name. Despite having never seen an episode of Man vs. Wild, Mungo trekked through man-eating jungle and the desert kingdom of Kaarta, was held captive by local tribesmen for four months and escaped to discover the long sought Niger river at Segou on July 21s 1796. Puts that 'exotic' trip to Cabo or Ibiza in perspective a little bit doesn't it?
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By 28, Yuri Gagarin and Richard Bailey had accomplished ...

First man in space
Yuri gagarin
Ate a moth for 50p
Photo?1419706911
Yuri Gagarin
At 28, Yuri Gagarin became the first human in space. The son of Russian peasants, Gagarin suffered during Nazi occupation in World War II, living in a hut his family made out of mud for 2 years after the Germans confiscated his house. Although only 5 foot 2 inches, Gagarin trained as an air force pilot and found his stature an advantage when he was selected for the space program as the cockpit of his spaceship was only two meters wide. Also, the Vostok 1 was not equipped with thrusters to help slow it down as it reentered the atmosphere, so Gagarin had to eject 4 miles above the earth - winning him the title of man with the biggest balls in history.
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By 25, Nellie Bly and Lizzy Flavell had accomplished ...

Around the world in 80 days
Nellie bly
Lost 3 iPhones
Photo?1419516753
Nellie Bly
At 25, Nellie Bly, beat Jules Verne’s fictional record by traveling the globe in less than 80 days. Before that, Bly reported from Mexico at a time when ‘reporting from Mexico’ involved a little more than updating Facebook from Señor Frog's in Cancun. Deported for calling attention to the plight of Mexican people, Bly convinced her editor’s to let her go Around the World in 80 Days. Later, Nellie became President of the Iron Clad Manufacturing Co. and one of the only female industrialists of the age. Nellie also covered women’s suffrage and World War I without a blog, the Internet, or a cell phone. But I'm sure your Facebook page has a ton of likes.
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By 25, Nellie Bly and Sasha Cooper had accomplished ...

Around the world in 80 days
Nellie bly
The most amount of un useable minis
Photo?1419459410
Nellie Bly
At 25, Nellie Bly, beat Jules Verne’s fictional record by traveling the globe in less than 80 days. Before that, Bly reported from Mexico at a time when ‘reporting from Mexico’ involved a little more than updating Facebook from Señor Frog's in Cancun. Deported for calling attention to the plight of Mexican people, Bly convinced her editor’s to let her go Around the World in 80 Days. Later, Nellie became President of the Iron Clad Manufacturing Co. and one of the only female industrialists of the age. Nellie also covered women’s suffrage and World War I without a blog, the Internet, or a cell phone. But I'm sure your Facebook page has a ton of likes.
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By 28, Yuri Gagarin and John Hurst had accomplished ...

First man in space
Yuri gagarin
First person to cook holly pea purée
Photo?1419429582
Yuri Gagarin
At 28, Yuri Gagarin became the first human in space. The son of Russian peasants, Gagarin suffered during Nazi occupation in World War II, living in a hut his family made out of mud for 2 years after the Germans confiscated his house. Although only 5 foot 2 inches, Gagarin trained as an air force pilot and found his stature an advantage when he was selected for the space program as the cockpit of his spaceship was only two meters wide. Also, the Vostok 1 was not equipped with thrusters to help slow it down as it reentered the atmosphere, so Gagarin had to eject 4 miles above the earth - winning him the title of man with the biggest balls in history.
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By 53, Theodore Roosevelt and Ray Bagwell had accomplished ...

Youngest President ever
Theodore roosevelt
learnt how to spell family
Photo?1419088884
Theodore Roosevelt
At 42, Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt became the youngest President in history. He remains the first and only president to be inaugurated at 42. Let's leave aside for a moment his well documented global ass-kicking and focus on some other things he was the first President to do: like fly in a plane, travel in a submarine, own a telephone, own a car, travel outside the US (on a freaking battleship no less) and have an African American over for dinner. He was also the first president and, in fact, the first American to win a Nobel peace prize. Happy 42nd birthday, I'm sure you're doing great!
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By 23, Martha "Calamity Jane" Cannary and Claire St John Eve had accomplished ...

Hardcore Frontierswoman
Calamity jane
Gone to university
Photo?1418901943
Martha "Calamity Jane" Cannary
At 23, Martha Jane Canary - the best known female gunslinger in history - was given the nickname 'Calamity Jane' after showing insane bravery in the face of enemy fire. Calamity Jane literally gave zero fucks. She fought alongside general Custer just before he died at the battle of Little Big Horn and hung out with Wild Bill Hickok who some believe was the father of her child. She got pneumonia swimming the Platte River at Fort Fetterman for the war effort and nursed victims of a smallpox epidemic in 1878. She was so hardcore that the entire Sioux Indian tribe agreed en masse to leave her alone. But I'm sure it took real courage to travel for your study abroad program!
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By 21, Steve Jobs and Jacob Elias Row had accomplished ...

Co-Founded Apple Computer
Steve jobs young
Photo?1418492612
Steve Jobs
At 21 Steve Jobs co-founded Apple computers from his parents’ garage. Within 4 years Jobs was worth a quarter billion dollars – with a ‘b’. After being forced out of Apple, he bought Pixar for 10 million and went on to sell it for $7.4 billion. When Apple begged him back, Jobs turned the almost bankrupt company into the world’s most valuable, with a market cap of $342 billion and a larger cash reserve than the US treasury! But you’re right. It IS bullshit that your parents won’t buy you an iPad Mini for your birthday.
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By 29, Agatha Christie and Sheena Taylor had accomplished ...

Best-selling novelist of all time
Agatha christie
Best Prosecco drinker of all time!
Photo?1418164847
Agatha Christie
At 29 Agatha Christie, the most translated writer and best-selling novelist of all time, published her first book. Today, Christie's novels have sold four billion copies, the third largest after the works of Shakespeare and the Bible. In addition to being The Guinness Book of World Record’s best selling novelist, she was so influential that people actually went out and committed crimes based on the ones in her books. So while you may fantasize about murdering your cheating boyfriend/husband and his lover, remember - Agatha Christie turned those fantasies into a multi-billion dollar empire.
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By 35, Nikola Tesla and Cez Martinez had accomplished ...

Discovered wireless energy
Nikola tesla
Discovered that braces and pubic hair are not a good combination. :) haha
Photo?1418135031
Nikola Tesla
By 35 in 1891, Nikola Tesla was able to demonstrate wireless communication, the whole reason you’re able to log onto the Internet. Before that, he worked closely with Thomas Edison and if often credited with the invention of electricity. He later went on to work on patents for things like the radio, the X-ray, electric motors, and lasers. David Bowie even played him in that movie, The Prestige. In 1898 he invented the remote control, which is now used by couch potatoes to surf and TEVO soap operas.
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By 30, Michael Jordan and Charlie Morgan had accomplished ...

Best Basketball Player of All Time
Michael jordan
Best wedding sexpest
Photo?1417810961
Michael Jordan
At 30 Michael Jordan retired from basketball after being a three time MVP and winning three consecutive titles with the Bulls, securing his first "three-peat." He was nicknamed "His Airness" because the man can literally fly through the air and slam dunk at the same time. After his retirement he signed with the White Sox and played baseball. He then came out of retirement and led the Bulls to their sixth NBA championship, and secured a second three-peat. Once again, Jordan was voted the Finals MVP making it his sixth, a record in NBA history. Maybe you wouldn't have sprained your ankle playing b-ball at the YMCA if you had been wearing some Air Jordan's.
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By 52, Mother Theresa and Kim Cridland had accomplished ...

Almost a Saint
Mother theresa
Giving birth, getting hitched and buying several dogs
Photo?1417807720
Mother Theresa
At 42, best friend of Jesus, Mother Theresa established the Pure Heart Home for Dying Destitutes in Calcutta, and later received the Nobel Peace Prize for her accomplishments. She was the champion of lepers everywhere, ministered to the poor, sick, orphaned, and dying and despite looking like a big toe that has sat in the bath too long she is only one more miracle away from being canonized as a straight-up saint. But I bet your PTA bake sale raised lots of money for that cause you can’t remember the name of.
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By 40, John Glenn and David Cox had accomplished ...

Original Spaceman
John glenn
Original Jovi Fan
Photo?1417603934
John Glenn
At 40, John Herschel Glenn, Jr. became the first American to orbit the earth and the only astronaut to go in to space without the required college degree. He didn't get one because, after Pearl Harbor, while all those other sissy astronauts were studying, Glenn quit college to fly 59 combat missions in the South Pacific. He also flew 63 missions in Korea where he was nicknamed "magnet ass" for his ability to get shot at repeatedly. In 1998, Glenn went back in to space, aged 77, becoming the oldest person to fly in space, and the only person to fly in both the Mercury and Space Shuttle programs. So remember: you may have got crazy high in college but no one ever got as high as John Glenn.
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By 30, Franz Schubert and Jason Byer had accomplished ...

Wrote over 200 songs by 18
Franz schubert
Cut a lot of wood by noon every day
Photo?1416680244
Franz Schubert
At 18 years old Franz Schubert had written nearly 200 songs (including two of his best), 3 masses, 3 symphonies, and enough piano and chamber music to keep the elevators of the world in lifetime supply. In 1897, the 100th anniversary of Schubert's birth was marked by festivals and performances dedicated to his music. By 1928 Schubert was so famous that an entire week was held in Europe and the United States to mark the centenary of his death - at the age of 31! But I'm sure you play chopsticks beautifully.
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By 37, Marie Curie and Helen Jane Campbell had accomplished ...

First woman to win Nobel Prize
Marie curie
First PR agency co-founder to kick ass
Photo?1416231941
Marie Curie
At 36, Marie Curie became the first woman to win a Nobel Prize for discovering radioactivity. Unlike bullshit comic book heroes whose first encounter with radiation usually turns them in to brooding, super-strong douchebags, Curie's discovery led to a life of dedication and selfless giving. She donated nearly all of her prize money and refused to patent her discoveries so they could benefit mankind. She went on to win a second Nobel in 1911 for the discovery of radium. Sadly, the closest you will come to a radiation discovery is when you accidentally overcook your kids' Hot Pockets in the microwave.
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By 37, Marie Curie and Helen Jane Campbell had accomplished ...

First woman to win Nobel Prize
Marie curie
First woman to win Tunnock's Teacake for coming third in Lord Clyde pub quiz
Photo?1415178760
Marie Curie
At 36, Marie Curie became the first woman to win a Nobel Prize for discovering radioactivity. Unlike bullshit comic book heroes whose first encounter with radiation usually turns them in to brooding, super-strong douchebags, Curie's discovery led to a life of dedication and selfless giving. She donated nearly all of her prize money and refused to patent her discoveries so they could benefit mankind. She went on to win a second Nobel in 1911 for the discovery of radium. Sadly, the closest you will come to a radiation discovery is when you accidentally overcook your kids' Hot Pockets in the microwave.
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By 33, Eva Peron and Aimee Lopez had accomplished ...

First Lady of Argentina
Eva peron
First lady to find a perfect man have two perfect kids
Photo?1414951808
Eva Peron
By the time of Eva Peron’s death at 33 she had already been established as the female Jesus of Argentina. In 1946 She used her position as first lady to fight for causes such as women's suffrage and improving the lives of the poor. She also ran the ministries of health and labor in her husband's government, and founded and ran the nation's first large-scale female political party. Maybe try an Argentinian wine the next time you host your next ladies book club.
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By 32, Alexander the Great and Michael A. Willis had accomplished ...

Conquered the known world
Alexander the great
Conquered riding a bike.
Photo?1414611160
Alexander the Great
By 32, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly all of the known world, building one of the most earth-engulfing empires in human history. By the time he was your age, he was worshiped from Italy to the Himalayas and had 20 cities named after him. His immediate legacy lasted from his death at 33 to the end of the Byzantine empire in the 15th century - so about 2000 years - but as one of the greatest warriors of all time he is still considered the standard against which all military commanders are judged, and hs tactics are taught in academies around the world at this very moment. Enjoy World of Warcraft.
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By 40, John Glenn and David Passiak had accomplished ...

Original Spaceman
John glenn
Original Dubai Immigrant
Photo?1414552481
John Glenn
At 40, John Herschel Glenn, Jr. became the first American to orbit the earth and the only astronaut to go in to space without the required college degree. He didn't get one because, after Pearl Harbor, while all those other sissy astronauts were studying, Glenn quit college to fly 59 combat missions in the South Pacific. He also flew 63 missions in Korea where he was nicknamed "magnet ass" for his ability to get shot at repeatedly. In 1998, Glenn went back in to space, aged 77, becoming the oldest person to fly in space, and the only person to fly in both the Mercury and Space Shuttle programs. So remember: you may have got crazy high in college but no one ever got as high as John Glenn.
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By 35, Nikola Tesla and Greg DeGroot had accomplished ...

Discovered wireless energy
Nikola tesla
Discovered The Best Bike Path in Cleveland, Ohio
Photo?1414552316
Nikola Tesla
By 35 in 1891, Nikola Tesla was able to demonstrate wireless communication, the whole reason you’re able to log onto the Internet. Before that, he worked closely with Thomas Edison and if often credited with the invention of electricity. He later went on to work on patents for things like the radio, the X-ray, electric motors, and lasers. David Bowie even played him in that movie, The Prestige. In 1898 he invented the remote control, which is now used by couch potatoes to surf and TEVO soap operas.
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By 41, Rudyard Kipling and Andrey Dolgachev had accomplished ...

Youngest Nobel Laureate for literature
Rudyard kipling
Youngest Koala Bear Lover
Photo?1414518755
Rudyard Kipling
At 41, Rudyard Kipling became the highest-paid writer in the world. Abandoned by his parents at 6 years old and tortured as a child by his foster carers, Kipling went on to win the Nobel prize for literature in 1907 - the youngest recipient ever - and at his funeral in 1936 his coffin was carried by a prime minister, an admiral, a general, and the head of a Cambridge college. So next time you're crafting that perfectly worded Facebook post, consider Kipling who took the same words and turned them in to cold hard cash and a literary legacy.
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By 33, Jesus of Nazareth and Neeraj Joshi had accomplished ...

Saved mankind from sin
Jesus of nazareth
ASSEMBLED AN AWESOMELY MEDIOCRE COLLECTION OF SPORTS TEAMS TO ROOT FOR
Photo?1413573660
Jesus of Nazareth
At 33 Jesus had already been crucified, brought back to life, and straight-up floated into heaven. He was born in a barn but at 12 he had the full attention of the clergy and answered their questions regarding faith. He turned water into wine, magicked loaves and fishes out of thin air and brought Lazarus back from the dead, which is always a cool trick at parties. His story and his words continue to inspire billions around the planet while your Instagram posts continue to garner less than 10 likes. Time to reevaluate.
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By 33, Jesus of Nazareth and Neeraj Joshi had accomplished ...

Saved mankind from sin
Jesus of nazareth
Assembled an awesomely mediocre collection of sports teams to root for.
Photo?1413573512
Jesus of Nazareth
At 33 Jesus had already been crucified, brought back to life, and straight-up floated into heaven. He was born in a barn but at 12 he had the full attention of the clergy and answered their questions regarding faith. He turned water into wine, magicked loaves and fishes out of thin air and brought Lazarus back from the dead, which is always a cool trick at parties. His story and his words continue to inspire billions around the planet while your Instagram posts continue to garner less than 10 likes. Time to reevaluate.
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By 27, Janis Joplin and Annie Marie had accomplished ...

Queen of Rock and Roll
Janis joplin
Grew a garden
Photo?1412520177
Janis Joplin
By 27, Janis Joplin died of a heroin overdose having been given the title of “Queen of Rock and Roll” and ranked number 46 in Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. While she only charted five singles and only had one number one hit, she was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1995, and given a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 2005. Janis Joplin's short life has been the subject of many books and documentaries, and her iconic image decorates dorm rooms, teenage bedrooms, and probably at one point your boyfriend's man-cave.
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By 34, Dolly Parton and Una Slack had accomplished ...

Queen of Country Music
Dolly parton
Queen Of Cork County, Ireland
Photo?1411597053
Dolly Parton
At 34, Dolly Parton starred in the film: 9-5. While on set, she wrote the theme song with her nails mimicking the typewriter. Her song reached number one on the country charts, but also in 1981, reached number one on the pop and the adult-contemporary charts, giving her a triple-number-one. It also received a nomination for an Academy award. Before that, she wrote hits like "Jolene" and "I Will Always Love You," which topped charts in 1974, 1982, and again in 1992 when covered by Whitney Houston. She has won 7 Grammys and in 1999 was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. While getting acrylic tips is usually for housewives who want to be more stylish; Dolly has composed over 3,000 songs with hers.
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By 40, John Glenn and Heath Kessler had accomplished ...

Original Spaceman
John glenn
Opened the world's best coffee shop and spurned a tech giant
Photo?1411090881
John Glenn
At 40, John Herschel Glenn, Jr. became the first American to orbit the earth and the only astronaut to go in to space without the required college degree. He didn't get one because, after Pearl Harbor, while all those other sissy astronauts were studying, Glenn quit college to fly 59 combat missions in the South Pacific. He also flew 63 missions in Korea where he was nicknamed "magnet ass" for his ability to get shot at repeatedly. In 1998, Glenn went back in to space, aged 77, becoming the oldest person to fly in space, and the only person to fly in both the Mercury and Space Shuttle programs. So remember: you may have got crazy high in college but no one ever got as high as John Glenn.
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By 24, Mungo Park and Jordon Smith had accomplished ...

Reached interior of West Africa
Mungo park
Reached Exotic California & Alabama
Photo?1410969137
Mungo Park
At 24 Mungo Park, a young Scottish doctor, became the first European to reach the interior of West Africa. In 1795, aged 22, Mungo – who had never traveled much outside of Scotland - popped over to Sumatra in Indonesia where he discovered eight new species of fish, just like any regular 22 year old does. It was at 24, however, that he was to really make his name. Despite having never seen an episode of Man vs. Wild, Mungo trekked through man-eating jungle and the desert kingdom of Kaarta, was held captive by local tribesmen for four months and escaped to discover the long sought Niger river at Segou on July 21s 1796. Puts that 'exotic' trip to Cabo or Ibiza in perspective a little bit doesn't it?
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By 36, Augustus and Steven Rutterbush had accomplished ...

Founded the Roman Empire
Augustus
Founded A Loving Family
Photo?1410894178
Augustus
At 36, Gaius Octavius Augustus established himself as the first Roman Emperor. Having spent a decade clawing his way to power, assassinating his critics and ending Mark Anthony and Cleopatra's sweaty romance in the most final of ways, Augustus then pulled off the most amazing PR stunt in history: he pretended he didn't want to become Emperor. Because they didn't apparently understand sarcasm, the Roman Senate made him Emperor for life. Augustus went on to expand the empire to Egypt, Greece, Turkey, Spain and Mediterranean North Africa; parts of the world you will be lucky to visit on vacation let alone annex.
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By 29, Agatha Christie and Jenny Kananian had accomplished ...

Best-selling novelist of all time
Agatha christie
Best angry pointer of all time
Photo?1410454058
Agatha Christie
At 29 Agatha Christie, the most translated writer and best-selling novelist of all time, published her first book. Today, Christie's novels have sold four billion copies, the third largest after the works of Shakespeare and the Bible. In addition to being The Guinness Book of World Record’s best selling novelist, she was so influential that people actually went out and committed crimes based on the ones in her books. So while you may fantasize about murdering your cheating boyfriend/husband and his lover, remember - Agatha Christie turned those fantasies into a multi-billion dollar empire.
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By 42, Theodore Roosevelt and Jarod Hermann had accomplished ...

Youngest President ever
Theodore roosevelt
95% as badass as Teddy Roosevelt!
Photo?1409598849
Theodore Roosevelt
At 42, Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt became the youngest President in history. He remains the first and only president to be inaugurated at 42. Let's leave aside for a moment his well documented global ass-kicking and focus on some other things he was the first President to do: like fly in a plane, travel in a submarine, own a telephone, own a car, travel outside the US (on a freaking battleship no less) and have an African American over for dinner. He was also the first president and, in fact, the first American to win a Nobel peace prize. Happy 42nd birthday, I'm sure you're doing great!
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By 32, Alexander the Great and Steve O'Mara had accomplished ...

Conquered the known world
Alexander the great
Conquered 32
Photo?1409449046
Alexander the Great
By 32, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly all of the known world, building one of the most earth-engulfing empires in human history. By the time he was your age, he was worshiped from Italy to the Himalayas and had 20 cities named after him. His immediate legacy lasted from his death at 33 to the end of the Byzantine empire in the 15th century - so about 2000 years - but as one of the greatest warriors of all time he is still considered the standard against which all military commanders are judged, and hs tactics are taught in academies around the world at this very moment. Enjoy World of Warcraft.
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By 20, Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Joy Kananian had accomplished ...

Prolific Poet & Feminist Crusader
Elizabeth barrett browning
Prolific at sneaking drinks at family functions
Photo?1405603040
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
When she was 20, Elizabeth Barrett Browning published her first volume of poetry which dealt with her passion for Byron and Greek politics. Despite suffering from anorexia, tuberculosis; scoliosis, opium addiction; anxiety and agoraphobia she wrote over 20 volumes of poetry, and was a candidate for poet laureate. She kept company with likes of Wordsworth, Tennyson, and Coleridge. Her final work, Aurora Leigh, which is considered an early feminist manifesto, portrays the male domination of a woman - so when you’re masturbating to Fifty Shades of Grey with that guy you met on Craigslist, remember you just set women back 157 years.
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By 32, Alexander the Great and Jeremy Long had accomplished ...

Conquered the known world
Alexander the great
Conquered xanadu cabaret in toledo
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Alexander the Great
By 32, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly all of the known world, building one of the most earth-engulfing empires in human history. By the time he was your age, he was worshiped from Italy to the Himalayas and had 20 cities named after him. His immediate legacy lasted from his death at 33 to the end of the Byzantine empire in the 15th century - so about 2000 years - but as one of the greatest warriors of all time he is still considered the standard against which all military commanders are judged, and hs tactics are taught in academies around the world at this very moment. Enjoy World of Warcraft.
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By 19, Mary Shelley and Jackie Kananian had accomplished ...

Wrote Frankenstein
Mary shelley
Known as "Worst Driver In The House" According To Dad
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Mary Shelley
At 19, Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein over a single summer, an idea she came up with in a dream. Today one of the world's most famous books, Frankenstein has been adapted over 100 times. Mary went on to become a prolific novelist writing six other novels, numerous mythological dramas, articles, various travel books, and biographical studies, establishing herself as one of the most powerful forces in the Romantic movement. What are your plans for this summer?
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By 34, Dolly Parton and Rachel K Rabboini had accomplished ...

Queen of Country Music
Dolly parton
Queen of Marketo.
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Dolly Parton
At 34, Dolly Parton starred in the film: 9-5. While on set, she wrote the theme song with her nails mimicking the typewriter. Her song reached number one on the country charts, but also in 1981, reached number one on the pop and the adult-contemporary charts, giving her a triple-number-one. It also received a nomination for an Academy award. Before that, she wrote hits like "Jolene" and "I Will Always Love You," which topped charts in 1974, 1982, and again in 1992 when covered by Whitney Houston. She has won 7 Grammys and in 1999 was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. While getting acrylic tips is usually for housewives who want to be more stylish; Dolly has composed over 3,000 songs with hers.
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By 68, Theodore Roosevelt and Henry Jones had accomplished ...

Youngest President ever
Theodore roosevelt
Has never played in a fantasy football championship
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Theodore Roosevelt
At 42, Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt became the youngest President in history. He remains the first and only president to be inaugurated at 42. Let's leave aside for a moment his well documented global ass-kicking and focus on some other things he was the first President to do: like fly in a plane, travel in a submarine, own a telephone, own a car, travel outside the US (on a freaking battleship no less) and have an African American over for dinner. He was also the first president and, in fact, the first American to win a Nobel peace prize. Happy 42nd birthday, I'm sure you're doing great!
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By 35, Nikola Tesla and Kevin Trowbridge had accomplished ...

Discovered wireless energy
Nikola tesla
Discovered old people music.
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Nikola Tesla
By 35 in 1891, Nikola Tesla was able to demonstrate wireless communication, the whole reason you’re able to log onto the Internet. Before that, he worked closely with Thomas Edison and if often credited with the invention of electricity. He later went on to work on patents for things like the radio, the X-ray, electric motors, and lasers. David Bowie even played him in that movie, The Prestige. In 1898 he invented the remote control, which is now used by couch potatoes to surf and TEVO soap operas.
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By 34, Dolly Parton and Kim King Schulz had accomplished ...

Queen of Country Music
Dolly parton
Queen of the fox river valley scrapper's association
Photo?1396811669
Dolly Parton
At 34, Dolly Parton starred in the film: 9-5. While on set, she wrote the theme song with her nails mimicking the typewriter. Her song reached number one on the country charts, but also in 1981, reached number one on the pop and the adult-contemporary charts, giving her a triple-number-one. It also received a nomination for an Academy award. Before that, she wrote hits like "Jolene" and "I Will Always Love You," which topped charts in 1974, 1982, and again in 1992 when covered by Whitney Houston. She has won 7 Grammys and in 1999 was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. While getting acrylic tips is usually for housewives who want to be more stylish; Dolly has composed over 3,000 songs with hers.
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By 27, Janis Joplin and Kate Elston had accomplished ...

Queen of Rock and Roll
Janis joplin
Queen of Karl Keily's Heart
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Janis Joplin
By 27, Janis Joplin died of a heroin overdose having been given the title of “Queen of Rock and Roll” and ranked number 46 in Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. While she only charted five singles and only had one number one hit, she was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1995, and given a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 2005. Janis Joplin's short life has been the subject of many books and documentaries, and her iconic image decorates dorm rooms, teenage bedrooms, and probably at one point your boyfriend's man-cave.
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By 28, Yuri Gagarin and Dave Binegar had accomplished ...

First man in space
Yuri gagarin
First Man to Pair Skinny Jeans with Loafers
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Yuri Gagarin
At 28, Yuri Gagarin became the first human in space. The son of Russian peasants, Gagarin suffered during Nazi occupation in World War II, living in a hut his family made out of mud for 2 years after the Germans confiscated his house. Although only 5 foot 2 inches, Gagarin trained as an air force pilot and found his stature an advantage when he was selected for the space program as the cockpit of his spaceship was only two meters wide. Also, the Vostok 1 was not equipped with thrusters to help slow it down as it reentered the atmosphere, so Gagarin had to eject 4 miles above the earth - winning him the title of man with the biggest balls in history.
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By 34, Francis Scott Key and Alex Hessler had accomplished ...

Wrote the National Anthem
Francis scott key
Wrote the book, on being a Dad!
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Francis Scott Key
At 34, amateur poet, Francis Scott Key, wrote the words for the National Anthem of the United States. It was the War of 1812 and the British, like herpes, just kept coming back. Key was involved in a prisoner swap on board the British ship HMS Tonnant and then forced to stay aboard while the British blew the crap out of Fort McHenry, not unlike how Princess Leia was forced to watch the destruction of Alderaan by Darth Vader. At dawn though, Key saw the US flag still waiving proudly and was inspired to write the lines that we now sing every fourth of July. But I guess it's cool that your comment got retweeted a bunch of times.
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By 28, Elizabeth Blackwell and Rachael Spillard had accomplished ...

First female Physician in US
Elizabeth blackwell
First Female Head of San Francisco High school Science department!
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Elizabeth Blackwell
At 28, Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell became the first doctor with lady-parts in the USA, paving the way for generations of successful female physicians. In 1857 she founded the New York Infirmary for Women and Children which was expanded in 1868 to include the first college for the training of female doctors. Barely ten years later, Blackwell went on to help establish the London School of Medicine for Women where she became professor of gynecology. Basically if she had kept on going instead of dying at 89 in 1910 she may have become the first woman to fly the Atlantic and the first female president, she was that committed a feminist. I'm sure she'd be so proud to see you dress as a slutty nurse this Halloween.
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By 25, Nellie Bly and Molly O'Connor had accomplished ...

Around the world in 80 days
Nellie bly
Around The World in 80 days, as well!
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Nellie Bly
At 25, Nellie Bly, beat Jules Verne’s fictional record by traveling the globe in less than 80 days. Before that, Bly reported from Mexico at a time when ‘reporting from Mexico’ involved a little more than updating Facebook from Señor Frog's in Cancun. Deported for calling attention to the plight of Mexican people, Bly convinced her editor’s to let her go Around the World in 80 Days. Later, Nellie became President of the Iron Clad Manufacturing Co. and one of the only female industrialists of the age. Nellie also covered women’s suffrage and World War I without a blog, the Internet, or a cell phone. But I'm sure your Facebook page has a ton of likes.
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By 37, Charles Dickens and Bandini Mull had accomplished ...

Wrote David Copperfield
Charles dickens
Wrote "Dan wuz here" on over 600 bathroom walls.
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Charles Dickens
At 37, Charles Dickens published his 8th novel, David Copperfield: a semi-autobiographical work which mirrored his own rise from ass-sucking poverty to the heights of literary and commercial success. Sent to work at a shoe polish factory at 10 years old, Dickens went on to become so rich and famous he made J.K. Rowling look like a college newspaper editor. An online-college newspaper editor. Before his death, Dickens wrote 14 novels, hundreds of short stories and essays and conducted several massively successful reading tours through the UK and US. Think about that while you sit down to write that novel you've been trying to start for the past 15 years.
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By 27, Jimi Hendrix and Dave Copeland had accomplished ...

Greatest Guitarist Ever
Jimi hendrix
3rd Lowest Score on Guitar Hero Ever
Dave copeland
Jimi Hendrix
Despite a limited mainstream exposure of four years, Jimi Hendrix is considered the greatest guitarist in history, not only because he played his right handed Stratocaster upside down and lefty, or because he was the first musician to literally smash and burn his guitar at the end of a performance, but because he set the trend for Rock Gods dying of drug related deaths at 27. He was soon followed by Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison, and much later Kurt Cobain. Have fun trying to recreate Purple Haze on Guitar Hero.
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By 38, Cleopatra and Katy Reid had accomplished ...

The Last Pharaoh of Egypt
Cleopatra
Always the last to leave the bar!
Katy reed
Cleopatra
At 38 Cleopatra committed suicide by snakebite, having risen to become one of the most powerful and well known women in the ancient world. Not only was she considered one of the most beautiful women in history, she seduced Julius Caesar and Mark Antony to name a few, and her face appeared on coins, sculptures, and great works of art for centuries after her death in 30 BC. Some even believe she was the reincarnation of the goddess Isis. When you’re lonely at that singles mixer drunk dialing your ex boyfriend, stop and ask yourself, what would Cleopatra do?
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By 19, Arthur Rimbaud and Justin Bieber had accomplished ...

Retired at 19
Arthur rimbaud
Only just beginning to ruin your life
Justin bieber
Arthur Rimbaud
At 19 years old Arthur Rimbaud, widely regarded as one of the greatest poets and writers of the 19th Century decided to GIVE UP writing. That’s right: 19 is where he decided to stop. From 20 onward he traveled the world as a soldier, vagabond and gun-runner. Despite never writing again, Rimbaud basically invented the modernist movement and influenced three generations of writers, artists and performers. Picasso, Ginsberg and both Morrisons (Van & Jim) all claim to have been influenced by Rimbaud’s poetry and life. Not bad for a career that started at 16 and lasted 3 years.
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By 18, Aretha Franklin and Nicole Wise had accomplished ...

Ranked #1 greatest singer of all time
Aretha franklin
Came 4th in the Clarksville City, TX, Karaoke competition
Nicole wise
Aretha Franklin
Despite being born in a wooden house in Tennessee in the middle of WWII, losing her mother at 10 years old, getting pregnant at 15 and again at 17 - at 18 year’s old, Aretha Franklin released her first single which reached No. 10 on Billboard's R&B chart. Having taught herself how to play piano by ear, Franklin went on to win 18 Grammys and 20 no.1 Billboard singles. Rolling Stone magazine ranked her number one on its "100 Greatest Singers of All Time" list, as well as the ninth greatest artist of all time. Have fun at your birthday Karaoke!.
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By 37, Thomas Edison and Phil Page had accomplished ...

Invented the Lightbulb
Thomas edison
Invented the ramen cheez whiz burrito, in college
Phil page
Thomas Edison
Until Thomas Edison invented the light bulb at age 37, mankind had been using fire to see things in the dark. Eight years later, there were 121 Edison power stations in the United States delivering electricity to customers. He also invented the Kintescope which is the reason you were able to jerk off to dad’s porn as a teenager. The closest you come to Edison is when you spend hours on the phone with Con-Eds customer service department.
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By 33, Jesus of Nazareth and Justin Amash had accomplished ...

Saved mankind from sin
Jesus of nazareth
Saved Poor People from Health Care
Justin amash
Jesus of Nazareth
At 33 Jesus had already been crucified, brought back to life, and straight-up floated into heaven. He was born in a barn but at 12 he had the full attention of the clergy and answered their questions regarding faith. He turned water into wine, magicked loaves and fishes out of thin air and brought Lazarus back from the dead, which is always a cool trick at parties. His story and his words continue to inspire billions around the planet while your Instagram posts continue to garner less than 10 likes. Time to reevaluate.
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By 19, Mary Shelley and Courtney Stodden had accomplished ...

Wrote Frankenstein
Mary shelley
Married Frankenstein’s Monster
Courtney stodden
Mary Shelley
At 19, Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein over a single summer, an idea she came up with in a dream. Today one of the world's most famous books, Frankenstein has been adapted over 100 times. Mary went on to become a prolific novelist writing six other novels, numerous mythological dramas, articles, various travel books, and biographical studies, establishing herself as one of the most powerful forces in the Romantic movement. What are your plans for this summer?