At age 25 Ray Charles started his own band, recorded with Quincy Jones and had a number one R&B hit. Even though Charles lost his sight at 5, never knew his father, lost his mother, and dropped out of school at 15, he went on to be number 10 on the list of greatest artists of all time and number 2 on Rolling Stone's greatest singers of all time. Even Billy Joel said that Charles was more important than Elvis. While most people with 20/20 barley finish the dishes, Charles also won 17 Grammys.

At 30, Oprah Winfrey took over as host of A.M. Chicago, a poorly-rated, half-hour morning talk show. Within a month, she had taken it from last place to first place in local Chicago ratings. Within 2 years, A.M. Chicago show was relaunched as The Oprah Winfrey Show and nationally syndicated. Despite being born into poverty and raised by a teenage single mother, facing sexual abuse as a teen and running away from home, Oprah has gone on to become the world's first black woman billionaire in history, has received an honorary degree from Harvard and was awarded the Presidential Medal Of Freedom in 2013. What's your excuse?

When she was 20, Elizabeth Barrett Browning published her first volume of poetry which dealt with her passion for Byron and Greek politics. Despite suffering from anorexia, tuberculosis; scoliosis, opium addiction; anxiety and agoraphobia she wrote over 20 volumes of poetry, and was a candidate for poet laureate. She kept company with likes of Wordsworth, Tennyson, and Coleridge. Her final work, Aurora Leigh, which is considered an early feminist manifesto, portrays the male domination of a woman - so when you’re masturbating to Fifty Shades of Grey with that guy you met on Craigslist, remember you just set women back 157 years.

By 32, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly all of the known world, building one of the most earth-engulfing empires in human history. By the time he was your age, he was worshiped from Italy to the Himalayas and had 20 cities named after him. His immediate legacy lasted from his death at 33 to the end of the Byzantine empire in the 15th century - so about 2000 years - but as one of the greatest warriors of all time he is still considered the standard against which all military commanders are judged, and hs tactics are taught in academies around the world at this very moment. Enjoy World of Warcraft.

At age 25 Ray Charles started his own band, recorded with Quincy Jones and had a number one R&B hit. Even though Charles lost his sight at 5, never knew his father, lost his mother, and dropped out of school at 15, he went on to be number 10 on the list of greatest artists of all time and number 2 on Rolling Stone's greatest singers of all time. Even Billy Joel said that Charles was more important than Elvis. While most people with 20/20 barley finish the dishes, Charles also won 17 Grammys.

Despite a limited mainstream exposure of four years, Jimi Hendrix is considered the greatest guitarist in history, not only because he played his right handed Stratocaster upside down and lefty, or because he was the first musician to literally smash and burn his guitar at the end of a performance, but because he set the trend for Rock Gods dying of drug related deaths at 27. He was soon followed by Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison, and much later Kurt Cobain. Have fun trying to recreate Purple Haze on Guitar Hero.

By 32, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly all of the known world, building one of the most earth-engulfing empires in human history. By the time he was your age, he was worshiped from Italy to the Himalayas and had 20 cities named after him. His immediate legacy lasted from his death at 33 to the end of the Byzantine empire in the 15th century - so about 2000 years - but as one of the greatest warriors of all time he is still considered the standard against which all military commanders are judged, and hs tactics are taught in academies around the world at this very moment. Enjoy World of Warcraft.

At 30 Michael Jordan retired from basketball after being a three time MVP and winning three consecutive titles with the Bulls, securing his first "three-peat." He was nicknamed "His Airness" because the man can literally fly through the air and slam dunk at the same time. After his retirement he signed with the White Sox and played baseball. He then came out of retirement and led the Bulls to their sixth NBA championship, and secured a second three-peat. Once again, Jordan was voted the Finals MVP making it his sixth, a record in NBA history. Maybe you wouldn't have sprained your ankle playing b-ball at the YMCA if you had been wearing some Air Jordan's.

At 26 Wilt Chamberlain set the NBA single-game scoring record by tallying 100 points in a 48 minute game. Chamberlain is the only player in NBA history to average at least 30 points and 20 rebounds per game in a season, a feat he accomplished nine times. Chamberlain also authored several books, and battled Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie Conan the Destroyer. Nicknamed Goliath and The Big Dipper, he was a lifelong bachelor, and is believed to have had sex with over 20,000 women. Have you scored (anything) lately?

At 21 Steve Jobs co-founded Apple computers from his parents’ garage. Within 4 years Jobs was worth a quarter billion dollars – with a ‘b’. After being forced out of Apple, he bought Pixar for 10 million and went on to sell it for $7.4 billion. When Apple begged him back, Jobs turned the almost bankrupt company into the world’s most valuable, with a market cap of $342 billion and a larger cash reserve than the US treasury! But you’re right. It IS bullshit that your parents won’t buy you an iPad Mini for your birthday.

At 26 Wilt Chamberlain set the NBA single-game scoring record by tallying 100 points in a 48 minute game. Chamberlain is the only player in NBA history to average at least 30 points and 20 rebounds per game in a season, a feat he accomplished nine times. Chamberlain also authored several books, and battled Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie Conan the Destroyer. Nicknamed Goliath and The Big Dipper, he was a lifelong bachelor, and is believed to have had sex with over 20,000 women. Have you scored (anything) lately?

At 24 Mungo Park, a young Scottish doctor, became the first European to reach the interior of West Africa. In 1795, aged 22, Mungo – who had never traveled much outside of Scotland - popped over to Sumatra in Indonesia where he discovered eight new species of fish, just like any regular 22 year old does. It was at 24, however, that he was to really make his name. Despite having never seen an episode of Man vs. Wild, Mungo trekked through man-eating jungle and the desert kingdom of Kaarta, was held captive by local tribesmen for four months and escaped to discover the long sought Niger river at Segou on July 21s 1796. Puts that 'exotic' trip to Cabo or Ibiza in perspective a little bit doesn't it?

At 28, Yuri Gagarin became the first human in space. The son of Russian peasants, Gagarin suffered during Nazi occupation in World War II, living in a hut his family made out of mud for 2 years after the Germans confiscated his house. Although only 5 foot 2 inches, Gagarin trained as an air force pilot and found his stature an advantage when he was selected for the space program as the cockpit of his spaceship was only two meters wide. Also, the Vostok 1 was not equipped with thrusters to help slow it down as it reentered the atmosphere, so Gagarin had to eject 4 miles above the earth - winning him the title of man with the biggest balls in history.

At 25, Nellie Bly, beat Jules Verne’s fictional record by traveling the globe in less than 80 days. Before that, Bly reported from Mexico at a time when ‘reporting from Mexico’ involved a little more than updating Facebook from Señor Frog's in Cancun. Deported for calling attention to the plight of Mexican people, Bly convinced her editor’s to let her go Around the World in 80 Days. Later, Nellie became President of the Iron Clad Manufacturing Co. and one of the only female industrialists of the age. Nellie also covered women’s suffrage and World War I without a blog, the Internet, or a cell phone. But I'm sure your Facebook page has a ton of likes.

At 25, Nellie Bly, beat Jules Verne’s fictional record by traveling the globe in less than 80 days. Before that, Bly reported from Mexico at a time when ‘reporting from Mexico’ involved a little more than updating Facebook from Señor Frog's in Cancun. Deported for calling attention to the plight of Mexican people, Bly convinced her editor’s to let her go Around the World in 80 Days. Later, Nellie became President of the Iron Clad Manufacturing Co. and one of the only female industrialists of the age. Nellie also covered women’s suffrage and World War I without a blog, the Internet, or a cell phone. But I'm sure your Facebook page has a ton of likes.

At 28, Yuri Gagarin became the first human in space. The son of Russian peasants, Gagarin suffered during Nazi occupation in World War II, living in a hut his family made out of mud for 2 years after the Germans confiscated his house. Although only 5 foot 2 inches, Gagarin trained as an air force pilot and found his stature an advantage when he was selected for the space program as the cockpit of his spaceship was only two meters wide. Also, the Vostok 1 was not equipped with thrusters to help slow it down as it reentered the atmosphere, so Gagarin had to eject 4 miles above the earth - winning him the title of man with the biggest balls in history.

At 42, Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt became the youngest President in history. He remains the first and only president to be inaugurated at 42. Let's leave aside for a moment his well documented global ass-kicking and focus on some other things he was the first President to do: like fly in a plane, travel in a submarine, own a telephone, own a car, travel outside the US (on a freaking battleship no less) and have an African American over for dinner. He was also the first president and, in fact, the first American to win a Nobel peace prize. Happy 42nd birthday, I'm sure you're doing great!

At 23, Martha Jane Canary - the best known female gunslinger in history - was given the nickname 'Calamity Jane' after showing insane bravery in the face of enemy fire. Calamity Jane literally gave zero fucks. She fought alongside general Custer just before he died at the battle of Little Big Horn and hung out with Wild Bill Hickok who some believe was the father of her child. She got pneumonia swimming the Platte River at Fort Fetterman for the war effort and nursed victims of a smallpox epidemic in 1878. She was so hardcore that the entire Sioux Indian tribe agreed en masse to leave her alone. But I'm sure it took real courage to travel for your study abroad program!

At 21 Steve Jobs co-founded Apple computers from his parents’ garage. Within 4 years Jobs was worth a quarter billion dollars – with a ‘b’. After being forced out of Apple, he bought Pixar for 10 million and went on to sell it for $7.4 billion. When Apple begged him back, Jobs turned the almost bankrupt company into the world’s most valuable, with a market cap of $342 billion and a larger cash reserve than the US treasury! But you’re right. It IS bullshit that your parents won’t buy you an iPad Mini for your birthday.

At 29 Agatha Christie, the most translated writer and best-selling novelist of all time, published her first book. Today, Christie's novels have sold four billion copies, the third largest after the works of Shakespeare and the Bible. In addition to being The Guinness Book of World Record’s best selling novelist, she was so influential that people actually went out and committed crimes based on the ones in her books. So while you may fantasize about murdering your cheating boyfriend/husband and his lover, remember - Agatha Christie turned those fantasies into a multi-billion dollar empire.

By 35 in 1891, Nikola Tesla was able to demonstrate wireless communication, the whole reason you’re able to log onto the Internet. Before that, he worked closely with Thomas Edison and if often credited with the invention of electricity. He later went on to work on patents for things like the radio, the X-ray, electric motors, and lasers. David Bowie even played him in that movie, The Prestige. In 1898 he invented the remote control, which is now used by couch potatoes to surf and TEVO soap operas.

At 30 Michael Jordan retired from basketball after being a three time MVP and winning three consecutive titles with the Bulls, securing his first "three-peat." He was nicknamed "His Airness" because the man can literally fly through the air and slam dunk at the same time. After his retirement he signed with the White Sox and played baseball. He then came out of retirement and led the Bulls to their sixth NBA championship, and secured a second three-peat. Once again, Jordan was voted the Finals MVP making it his sixth, a record in NBA history. Maybe you wouldn't have sprained your ankle playing b-ball at the YMCA if you had been wearing some Air Jordan's.

At 42, best friend of Jesus, Mother Theresa established the Pure Heart Home for Dying Destitutes in Calcutta, and later received the Nobel Peace Prize for her accomplishments. She was the champion of lepers everywhere, ministered to the poor, sick, orphaned, and dying and despite looking like a big toe that has sat in the bath too long she is only one more miracle away from being canonized as a straight-up saint. But I bet your PTA bake sale raised lots of money for that cause you can’t remember the name of.

At 40, John Herschel Glenn, Jr. became the first American to orbit the earth and the only astronaut to go in to space without the required college degree. He didn't get one because, after Pearl Harbor, while all those other sissy astronauts were studying, Glenn quit college to fly 59 combat missions in the South Pacific. He also flew 63 missions in Korea where he was nicknamed "magnet ass" for his ability to get shot at repeatedly. In 1998, Glenn went back in to space, aged 77, becoming the oldest person to fly in space, and the only person to fly in both the Mercury and Space Shuttle programs. So remember: you may have got crazy high in college but no one ever got as high as John Glenn.

At 18 years old Franz Schubert had written nearly 200 songs (including two of his best), 3 masses, 3 symphonies, and enough piano and chamber music to keep the elevators of the world in lifetime supply. In 1897, the 100th anniversary of Schubert's birth was marked by festivals and performances dedicated to his music. By 1928 Schubert was so famous that an entire week was held in Europe and the United States to mark the centenary of his death - at the age of 31! But I'm sure you play chopsticks beautifully.

At 36, Marie Curie became the first woman to win a Nobel Prize for discovering radioactivity. Unlike bullshit comic book heroes whose first encounter with radiation usually turns them in to brooding, super-strong douchebags, Curie's discovery led to a life of dedication and selfless giving. She donated nearly all of her prize money and refused to patent her discoveries so they could benefit mankind. She went on to win a second Nobel in 1911 for the discovery of radium. Sadly, the closest you will come to a radiation discovery is when you accidentally overcook your kids' Hot Pockets in the microwave.

At 36, Marie Curie became the first woman to win a Nobel Prize for discovering radioactivity. Unlike bullshit comic book heroes whose first encounter with radiation usually turns them in to brooding, super-strong douchebags, Curie's discovery led to a life of dedication and selfless giving. She donated nearly all of her prize money and refused to patent her discoveries so they could benefit mankind. She went on to win a second Nobel in 1911 for the discovery of radium. Sadly, the closest you will come to a radiation discovery is when you accidentally overcook your kids' Hot Pockets in the microwave.

By the time of Eva Peron’s death at 33 she had already been established as the female Jesus of Argentina. In 1946 She used her position as first lady to fight for causes such as women's suffrage and improving the lives of the poor. She also ran the ministries of health and labor in her husband's government, and founded and ran the nation's first large-scale female political party. Maybe try an Argentinian wine the next time you host your next ladies book club.

By 32, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly all of the known world, building one of the most earth-engulfing empires in human history. By the time he was your age, he was worshiped from Italy to the Himalayas and had 20 cities named after him. His immediate legacy lasted from his death at 33 to the end of the Byzantine empire in the 15th century - so about 2000 years - but as one of the greatest warriors of all time he is still considered the standard against which all military commanders are judged, and hs tactics are taught in academies around the world at this very moment. Enjoy World of Warcraft.

At 40, John Herschel Glenn, Jr. became the first American to orbit the earth and the only astronaut to go in to space without the required college degree. He didn't get one because, after Pearl Harbor, while all those other sissy astronauts were studying, Glenn quit college to fly 59 combat missions in the South Pacific. He also flew 63 missions in Korea where he was nicknamed "magnet ass" for his ability to get shot at repeatedly. In 1998, Glenn went back in to space, aged 77, becoming the oldest person to fly in space, and the only person to fly in both the Mercury and Space Shuttle programs. So remember: you may have got crazy high in college but no one ever got as high as John Glenn.

By 35 in 1891, Nikola Tesla was able to demonstrate wireless communication, the whole reason you’re able to log onto the Internet. Before that, he worked closely with Thomas Edison and if often credited with the invention of electricity. He later went on to work on patents for things like the radio, the X-ray, electric motors, and lasers. David Bowie even played him in that movie, The Prestige. In 1898 he invented the remote control, which is now used by couch potatoes to surf and TEVO soap operas.

At 41, Rudyard Kipling became the highest-paid writer in the world. Abandoned by his parents at 6 years old and tortured as a child by his foster carers, Kipling went on to win the Nobel prize for literature in 1907 - the youngest recipient ever - and at his funeral in 1936 his coffin was carried by a prime minister, an admiral, a general, and the head of a Cambridge college. So next time you're crafting that perfectly worded Facebook post, consider Kipling who took the same words and turned them in to cold hard cash and a literary legacy.

At 33 Jesus had already been crucified, brought back to life, and straight-up floated into heaven. He was born in a barn but at 12 he had the full attention of the clergy and answered their questions regarding faith. He turned water into wine, magicked loaves and fishes out of thin air and brought Lazarus back from the dead, which is always a cool trick at parties. His story and his words continue to inspire billions around the planet while your Instagram posts continue to garner less than 10 likes. Time to reevaluate.

At 33 Jesus had already been crucified, brought back to life, and straight-up floated into heaven. He was born in a barn but at 12 he had the full attention of the clergy and answered their questions regarding faith. He turned water into wine, magicked loaves and fishes out of thin air and brought Lazarus back from the dead, which is always a cool trick at parties. His story and his words continue to inspire billions around the planet while your Instagram posts continue to garner less than 10 likes. Time to reevaluate.

By 27, Janis Joplin died of a heroin overdose having been given the title of “Queen of Rock and Roll” and ranked number 46 in Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. While she only charted five singles and only had one number one hit, she was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1995, and given a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 2005. Janis Joplin's short life has been the subject of many books and documentaries, and her iconic image decorates dorm rooms, teenage bedrooms, and probably at one point your boyfriend's man-cave.

At 34, Dolly Parton starred in the film: 9-5. While on set, she wrote the theme song with her nails mimicking the typewriter. Her song reached number one on the country charts, but also in 1981, reached number one on the pop and the adult-contemporary charts, giving her a triple-number-one. It also received a nomination for an Academy award. Before that, she wrote hits like "Jolene" and "I Will Always Love You," which topped charts in 1974, 1982, and again in 1992 when covered by Whitney Houston. She has won 7 Grammys and in 1999 was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. While getting acrylic tips is usually for housewives who want to be more stylish; Dolly has composed over 3,000 songs with hers.

At 40, John Herschel Glenn, Jr. became the first American to orbit the earth and the only astronaut to go in to space without the required college degree. He didn't get one because, after Pearl Harbor, while all those other sissy astronauts were studying, Glenn quit college to fly 59 combat missions in the South Pacific. He also flew 63 missions in Korea where he was nicknamed "magnet ass" for his ability to get shot at repeatedly. In 1998, Glenn went back in to space, aged 77, becoming the oldest person to fly in space, and the only person to fly in both the Mercury and Space Shuttle programs. So remember: you may have got crazy high in college but no one ever got as high as John Glenn.

At 24 Mungo Park, a young Scottish doctor, became the first European to reach the interior of West Africa. In 1795, aged 22, Mungo – who had never traveled much outside of Scotland - popped over to Sumatra in Indonesia where he discovered eight new species of fish, just like any regular 22 year old does. It was at 24, however, that he was to really make his name. Despite having never seen an episode of Man vs. Wild, Mungo trekked through man-eating jungle and the desert kingdom of Kaarta, was held captive by local tribesmen for four months and escaped to discover the long sought Niger river at Segou on July 21s 1796. Puts that 'exotic' trip to Cabo or Ibiza in perspective a little bit doesn't it?

At 36, Gaius Octavius Augustus established himself as the first Roman Emperor. Having spent a decade clawing his way to power, assassinating his critics and ending Mark Anthony and Cleopatra's sweaty romance in the most final of ways, Augustus then pulled off the most amazing PR stunt in history: he pretended he didn't want to become Emperor. Because they didn't apparently understand sarcasm, the Roman Senate made him Emperor for life. Augustus went on to expand the empire to Egypt, Greece, Turkey, Spain and Mediterranean North Africa; parts of the world you will be lucky to visit on vacation let alone annex.

At 29 Agatha Christie, the most translated writer and best-selling novelist of all time, published her first book. Today, Christie's novels have sold four billion copies, the third largest after the works of Shakespeare and the Bible. In addition to being The Guinness Book of World Record’s best selling novelist, she was so influential that people actually went out and committed crimes based on the ones in her books. So while you may fantasize about murdering your cheating boyfriend/husband and his lover, remember - Agatha Christie turned those fantasies into a multi-billion dollar empire.

At 42, Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt became the youngest President in history. He remains the first and only president to be inaugurated at 42. Let's leave aside for a moment his well documented global ass-kicking and focus on some other things he was the first President to do: like fly in a plane, travel in a submarine, own a telephone, own a car, travel outside the US (on a freaking battleship no less) and have an African American over for dinner. He was also the first president and, in fact, the first American to win a Nobel peace prize. Happy 42nd birthday, I'm sure you're doing great!

By 32, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly all of the known world, building one of the most earth-engulfing empires in human history. By the time he was your age, he was worshiped from Italy to the Himalayas and had 20 cities named after him. His immediate legacy lasted from his death at 33 to the end of the Byzantine empire in the 15th century - so about 2000 years - but as one of the greatest warriors of all time he is still considered the standard against which all military commanders are judged, and hs tactics are taught in academies around the world at this very moment. Enjoy World of Warcraft.

When she was 20, Elizabeth Barrett Browning published her first volume of poetry which dealt with her passion for Byron and Greek politics. Despite suffering from anorexia, tuberculosis; scoliosis, opium addiction; anxiety and agoraphobia she wrote over 20 volumes of poetry, and was a candidate for poet laureate. She kept company with likes of Wordsworth, Tennyson, and Coleridge. Her final work, Aurora Leigh, which is considered an early feminist manifesto, portrays the male domination of a woman - so when you’re masturbating to Fifty Shades of Grey with that guy you met on Craigslist, remember you just set women back 157 years.

By 32, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly all of the known world, building one of the most earth-engulfing empires in human history. By the time he was your age, he was worshiped from Italy to the Himalayas and had 20 cities named after him. His immediate legacy lasted from his death at 33 to the end of the Byzantine empire in the 15th century - so about 2000 years - but as one of the greatest warriors of all time he is still considered the standard against which all military commanders are judged, and hs tactics are taught in academies around the world at this very moment. Enjoy World of Warcraft.

At 19, Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein over a single summer, an idea she came up with in a dream. Today one of the world's most famous books, Frankenstein has been adapted over 100 times. Mary went on to become a prolific novelist writing six other novels, numerous mythological dramas, articles, various travel books, and biographical studies, establishing herself as one of the most powerful forces in the Romantic movement. What are your plans for this summer?

At 34, Dolly Parton starred in the film: 9-5. While on set, she wrote the theme song with her nails mimicking the typewriter. Her song reached number one on the country charts, but also in 1981, reached number one on the pop and the adult-contemporary charts, giving her a triple-number-one. It also received a nomination for an Academy award. Before that, she wrote hits like "Jolene" and "I Will Always Love You," which topped charts in 1974, 1982, and again in 1992 when covered by Whitney Houston. She has won 7 Grammys and in 1999 was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. While getting acrylic tips is usually for housewives who want to be more stylish; Dolly has composed over 3,000 songs with hers.

At 42, Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt became the youngest President in history. He remains the first and only president to be inaugurated at 42. Let's leave aside for a moment his well documented global ass-kicking and focus on some other things he was the first President to do: like fly in a plane, travel in a submarine, own a telephone, own a car, travel outside the US (on a freaking battleship no less) and have an African American over for dinner. He was also the first president and, in fact, the first American to win a Nobel peace prize. Happy 42nd birthday, I'm sure you're doing great!

By 35 in 1891, Nikola Tesla was able to demonstrate wireless communication, the whole reason you’re able to log onto the Internet. Before that, he worked closely with Thomas Edison and if often credited with the invention of electricity. He later went on to work on patents for things like the radio, the X-ray, electric motors, and lasers. David Bowie even played him in that movie, The Prestige. In 1898 he invented the remote control, which is now used by couch potatoes to surf and TEVO soap operas.

At 34, Dolly Parton starred in the film: 9-5. While on set, she wrote the theme song with her nails mimicking the typewriter. Her song reached number one on the country charts, but also in 1981, reached number one on the pop and the adult-contemporary charts, giving her a triple-number-one. It also received a nomination for an Academy award. Before that, she wrote hits like "Jolene" and "I Will Always Love You," which topped charts in 1974, 1982, and again in 1992 when covered by Whitney Houston. She has won 7 Grammys and in 1999 was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. While getting acrylic tips is usually for housewives who want to be more stylish; Dolly has composed over 3,000 songs with hers.

By 27, Janis Joplin died of a heroin overdose having been given the title of “Queen of Rock and Roll” and ranked number 46 in Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. While she only charted five singles and only had one number one hit, she was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1995, and given a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 2005. Janis Joplin's short life has been the subject of many books and documentaries, and her iconic image decorates dorm rooms, teenage bedrooms, and probably at one point your boyfriend's man-cave.

At 28, Yuri Gagarin became the first human in space. The son of Russian peasants, Gagarin suffered during Nazi occupation in World War II, living in a hut his family made out of mud for 2 years after the Germans confiscated his house. Although only 5 foot 2 inches, Gagarin trained as an air force pilot and found his stature an advantage when he was selected for the space program as the cockpit of his spaceship was only two meters wide. Also, the Vostok 1 was not equipped with thrusters to help slow it down as it reentered the atmosphere, so Gagarin had to eject 4 miles above the earth - winning him the title of man with the biggest balls in history.

At 34, amateur poet, Francis Scott Key, wrote the words for the National Anthem of the United States. It was the War of 1812 and the British, like herpes, just kept coming back. Key was involved in a prisoner swap on board the British ship HMS Tonnant and then forced to stay aboard while the British blew the crap out of Fort McHenry, not unlike how Princess Leia was forced to watch the destruction of Alderaan by Darth Vader. At dawn though, Key saw the US flag still waiving proudly and was inspired to write the lines that we now sing every fourth of July. But I guess it's cool that your comment got retweeted a bunch of times.

At 28, Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell became the first doctor with lady-parts in the USA, paving the way for generations of successful female physicians. In 1857 she founded the New York Infirmary for Women and Children which was expanded in 1868 to include the first college for the training of female doctors. Barely ten years later, Blackwell went on to help establish the London School of Medicine for Women where she became professor of gynecology. Basically if she had kept on going instead of dying at 89 in 1910 she may have become the first woman to fly the Atlantic and the first female president, she was that committed a feminist. I'm sure she'd be so proud to see you dress as a slutty nurse this Halloween.

At 25, Nellie Bly, beat Jules Verne’s fictional record by traveling the globe in less than 80 days. Before that, Bly reported from Mexico at a time when ‘reporting from Mexico’ involved a little more than updating Facebook from Señor Frog's in Cancun. Deported for calling attention to the plight of Mexican people, Bly convinced her editor’s to let her go Around the World in 80 Days. Later, Nellie became President of the Iron Clad Manufacturing Co. and one of the only female industrialists of the age. Nellie also covered women’s suffrage and World War I without a blog, the Internet, or a cell phone. But I'm sure your Facebook page has a ton of likes.

At 37, Charles Dickens published his 8th novel, David Copperfield: a semi-autobiographical work which mirrored his own rise from ass-sucking poverty to the heights of literary and commercial success. Sent to work at a shoe polish factory at 10 years old, Dickens went on to become so rich and famous he made J.K. Rowling look like a college newspaper editor. An online-college newspaper editor. Before his death, Dickens wrote 14 novels, hundreds of short stories and essays and conducted several massively successful reading tours through the UK and US. Think about that while you sit down to write that novel you've been trying to start for the past 15 years.

Despite a limited mainstream exposure of four years, Jimi Hendrix is considered the greatest guitarist in history, not only because he played his right handed Stratocaster upside down and lefty, or because he was the first musician to literally smash and burn his guitar at the end of a performance, but because he set the trend for Rock Gods dying of drug related deaths at 27. He was soon followed by Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison, and much later Kurt Cobain. Have fun trying to recreate Purple Haze on Guitar Hero.

At 38 Cleopatra committed suicide by snakebite, having risen to become one of the most powerful and well known women in the ancient world. Not only was she considered one of the most beautiful women in history, she seduced Julius Caesar and Mark Antony to name a few, and her face appeared on coins, sculptures, and great works of art for centuries after her death in 30 BC. Some even believe she was the reincarnation of the goddess Isis. When you’re lonely at that singles mixer drunk dialing your ex boyfriend, stop and ask yourself, what would Cleopatra do?

At 19 years old Arthur Rimbaud, widely regarded as one of the greatest poets and writers of the 19th Century decided to GIVE UP writing. That’s right: 19 is where he decided to stop. From 20 onward he traveled the world as a soldier, vagabond and gun-runner. Despite never writing again, Rimbaud basically invented the modernist movement and influenced three generations of writers, artists and performers. Picasso, Ginsberg and both Morrisons (Van & Jim) all claim to have been influenced by Rimbaud’s poetry and life. Not bad for a career that started at 16 and lasted 3 years.

Despite being born in a wooden house in Tennessee in the middle of WWII, losing her mother at 10 years old, getting pregnant at 15 and again at 17 - at 18 year’s old, Aretha Franklin released her first single which reached No. 10 on Billboard's R&B chart. Having taught herself how to play piano by ear, Franklin went on to win 18 Grammys and 20 no.1 Billboard singles. Rolling Stone magazine ranked her number one on its "100 Greatest Singers of All Time" list, as well as the ninth greatest artist of all time. Have fun at your birthday Karaoke!.

Until Thomas Edison invented the light bulb at age 37, mankind had been using fire to see things in the dark. Eight years later, there were 121 Edison power stations in the United States delivering electricity to customers. He also invented the Kintescope which is the reason you were able to jerk off to dad’s porn as a teenager. The closest you come to Edison is when you spend hours on the phone with Con-Eds customer service department.

At 33 Jesus had already been crucified, brought back to life, and straight-up floated into heaven. He was born in a barn but at 12 he had the full attention of the clergy and answered their questions regarding faith. He turned water into wine, magicked loaves and fishes out of thin air and brought Lazarus back from the dead, which is always a cool trick at parties. His story and his words continue to inspire billions around the planet while your Instagram posts continue to garner less than 10 likes. Time to reevaluate.

At 19, Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein over a single summer, an idea she came up with in a dream. Today one of the world's most famous books, Frankenstein has been adapted over 100 times. Mary went on to become a prolific novelist writing six other novels, numerous mythological dramas, articles, various travel books, and biographical studies, establishing herself as one of the most powerful forces in the Romantic movement. What are your plans for this summer?