Alex Hessler vs. Francis Scott Key

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By 34, Francis Scott Key and Alex Hessler had accomplished ...

Wrote the National Anthem
Francis scott key
Wrote the book, on being a Dad!
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Francis Scott Key
At 34, amateur poet, Francis Scott Key, wrote the words for the National Anthem of the United States. It was the War of 1812 and the British, like herpes, just kept coming back. Key was involved in a prisoner swap on board the British ship HMS Tonnant and then forced to stay aboard while the British blew the crap out of Fort McHenry, not unlike how Princess Leia was forced to watch the destruction of Alderaan by Darth Vader. At dawn though, Key saw the US flag still waiving proudly and was inspired to write the lines that we now sing every fourth of July. But I guess it's cool that your comment got retweeted a bunch of times.